Twist and turnversion one
by Hiarashi
Summary: made for Zoro's bday, I have two other versions of this story plus one ZoNa version. This one is the only one rated M for obvious reasons.    Keep in mind this is yaoi, so if you are uncomfortable with that; don't read.


An: ZoSan birthday-smut version. Please please PLEASE read the other versions too, k?

The crew didn't know. No one even remembered. Heck, he hardly remembered.

But that didn't change what day it was. Today was November 11th. How the green-haired swordsman loathed this day.

Zoro growled under his breath as he picked up his white shirt and used it to dry off the sweat on both his brow and upper torso. He the proceeded to toss the 'make-shift' towel to the deck floor with a scoff and another growl. How he hated this day.

The day of his birth...the day of her funeral...

***

Nami looked up from her magazine as she heard a rustle up above. She lifted one delicate hand to her brow, shielding the sun's rays from her view as she spotted a delivery bird making it's way to the railing of the ship. Setting down her magazine; she lightly made her way over to where it had temporarily decided to perch itself. Upon closer inspection; she noticed that not only did it carry the regular newspaper; but a semi-average sized package as well. Reaching over and taking the items from the awaiting bird and handing it a coin in return; she set down the newspaper and examined the package carefully. What in the world could be in a package this size? Medicine for Chopper? A book for Robin? Maybe even a spare part that Franky ordered for something that was probably best not to look into...Flipping over the package she found a name and wrinkled her brow even more in confusion.

RORONOA ZORO

She just shrugged. As much as she was curious; it wasn't really her business. Taking it into the galley she set it down on the counter face up. Hoping that Zoro would see it, or more so, be able to READ his own freakin' name. Either way, it wasn't her business anymore. Slowly she made her way out of the galley nearly colliding with the ship's cook. She looked up to find the most disturbingly creepy expression upon the blonde's face.

"Oh my dear Nami-san! Where you looking for me? Fear not, if there's anything you need I'm right here."

She frowned in response. "You almost collided into me! Don't you have anything better to do than run around the ship like an idiot? Go make some snacks or something."

Sanji saluted in response, still maintaining his goofy grin despite being just insulted by the girl of his dreams. "Hai, Nami-san! I'll make every snack I can think of that we have ingredients for! Don't worry, with me around, you won't ever go hungry!"

He began to literally spin into the kitchen, but not before hearing Nami call out behind him. "DON'T YOU DARE MAKE ANYTHING FATTENING! I MEAN IT!"

"HAI! NAMI-SWAN!"

Nami just shook her head and made her back to her chair.

Hopefully Sanji would be smart enough to not touch that package she left on the table. He was nosy, but not that nosy.

At least, that's what she thought.

***

Sanji made his way around the galley, humming a bit while he worked. If only he could decide what to make for Nami-san. Cake? Cookies? Pie? To hell with it, he'd make 'em all. He had the time.

He was about to start pulling out ingredients from the cupboard when something caught his eye on the dining table. It was a small package with the marimo's name etched on the top. Sanji frowned around his cigarette at this. Who the hell would waste their time on that shithead? The thought crossed his mind that maybe the guy had some girl he left behind where he came from. Come to think of it, he really didn't know much about his nakama's history at all...particularly the green-haired swordsman. Hell, he wouldn't know if the guy had like a wife and couple kids he ditched back in east blue. Or even worse, what if he was some sick killer just waiting for the perfect chance to...he shuddered at that last thought. He wouldn't dare let anyone lay a hand on his nakama...especially the women. They WERE the reason he got out of bed every morning, after all.

That last thought settled it though, he reached over and grasped the package, and with one swift movement, ripped it much like tearing open a package of nuts or some other dried product. Reaching inside, he pulled out a stone along with a note. Casting the stone aside as if it was nothing, he opened up the folded paper and began to read.

_Zoro,_

Out of all of my students, you've always been the most predictable. I can easily pinpoint where your odd sense of direction will point you. I'm sending you a gift in hopes it reaches you precisely on that same day. I'm sure you're aware of who this belonged to. She would have wanted you to have it. For her sake, please use it along with her sword to become the greatest.

Sanji flipped it over back and forth and back and forth. No signature? The letter didn't give away much expect it was obviously some teacher of Zoro's who gave him a rock of some sort. He wrinkled his brow and chewed on the filter of his cigarette. He didn't even know Zoro went to school. Where all people who got an education in east blue this dumb? Shit, no wonder this damn world was corrupted. He assumed that the teacher was most likely a man as well, there's NO WAY IN HELL a woman would have a student as stupid as that marimo-head. He stuffed the items back in the package and just left it on the table while going back to his business. Not even five or so minutes later he heard the door to the galley swing open and a pair of heavy boots storm in.

"Oi cook, I need booze."

Sanji wrinkled his nose at this. The idiot didn't NEED booze. Why the hell must he always make it sound like it was his lifeline, anyways? Couldn't he just ask politely for once?

It was then he noticed that the air felt uneasy...and more-so; it felt quiet as fuck.

Slowly, he turned around.

Zoro was standing with note in his right hand and block in the left. After a few moments he watched as the swordsman crinkled the note into a fist and slip the block into his harameki. He turned to Sanji, face expressionless...

except for his eyes. His eyes...showed rage.

Softly, ever so quietly. He growled so low that if any other noise had been in the galley, Sanji was sure he wouldn't have heard him. "Did you open this, cook?"

The last thing he needed was to be intimidated by this idiot. Pulling his cigarette from his lips and letting out a breath of smoke he responded coolly "So what if I did?"

The look of murder crossed Zoro's eyes and he made a lunge at the cook. Sanji felt his heart jump into his throat as hands gripped tightly on his shoulders and he was slammed against the galley wall. He felt a sharp pain shoot through the back of his head and down his spine but it went almost unnoticed in comparison to the expression he saw in the swordsman's eyes. Softly and deeply he heard the bushido growl.

"What the hell makes you think you can go around and dig into peoples private lives, huh cook?"

Sanji had no words to this. Every time he'd try to open his mouth, nothing would come out. It was then he realized that his cigarette must have fallen to the floor at some point due to it was missing from in between his lips.

"I..."

Just then the door burst open and Nami, chopper, and Franky came barging in. At the sight of the situation; Franky made his way over to separate the boys.

"Okay bros, break it up! Break it up!"

Chopper timidly called out from behind Nami. "Franky? Is anyone hurt at all?"

Franky gave both boys a once over. "Looks like Cook-bro has a bit of bruise but that's about it."

Nami stormed over while a scared usopp peeked around the corner. "Are they done fighting yet, Nami?"

"As far as I'm concerned they are! What were both of you thinking? I know you guys like to fight but can't you do it out on deck instead of messing everything in the kitchen up? You know what happens when you fight indoors, don't you? Things break, and then need to be replaced! DO YOU know where the money for replacing broken things comes from?"

Sanji slipped his hands in his pockets and cast his eyes downward while Zoro turned to face the wall with his arms crossed.

"Gomen, Nami-san...I'll clean everything up in here."

Nami's eyes darted between the two and then went to opened package. Taking a deep breath, she spoke loud and clearly.

"Everyone out, except for me and Sanji-kun."

Confused and hesitant, the crew ushered their way out just as luffy was about to saunter in. "Na?" He called out while Franky pushed him along with the rest out the door. "What's going on? Are we eating already?" Usopp closed the door behind the two, and Nami then turned to Sanji whose expression had changed into what looked to be the start of one of his mellorisms."

"Nami-san! You wanted to be alone with me? I wasn't ready...I have nothing prepared. But don't worry, give me five minutes and I'll have a romantic dinner for two set on the tab..."

"Sanji-kun."

He switched into serious-mode in a heartbeat. "Hai, Nami-san."

"Did you open that package that was for Zoro?"

He stared at her with blank eyes; she could tell he had no clue how to respond. He then avoided her gaze and eyes made contact with the wall to his right.

"Hai...I did."

"Sanji-kun..."

He looked up at her and saw the expectancy in her eyes. It was obvious what she wanted him to do. He had studied both the beauties of the ship so well that he could read them like a book. He nodded as a means of understanding and she made a notion with her head toward the door. He sighed as he made his way out.

Oh how life would be easier if he could connect with all his nakama as he could with his women. But then again, that would be quite awkward, wouldn't it?

***

Zoro leaned over the railing and stared at the sea. He pat his harameki absentmindedly and felt the wetstone scrape his stomach a bit. He had thrown his shirt off just to feel the breeze upon his skin. If he couldn't go in the galley and get some booze to feel relaxed, then maybe the sea breeze would be a substitute of sorts. He closed his eyes and let the salty smell envelop his nostrils.

Salty, Humid, smoky...

Wait...smoky?

He opened his eyes in irritation and spun around to find the root of his problems standing only a few feet away from him. He growled softly.

"What the hell do you want, shit co...?"

he trailed off as he noticed the look in the cook's eye. It was not one of pride or mockery of any sort. In fact, it was sad and guilty. Although it didn't look directed toward him...all be damned if the cook pitied him, Zoro wouldn't have it. No...this was something the cook was keeping deeper, toward...himself?

"Sanji..." Zoro reached out and spoke the name of the cook, something he rarely did. He pulled his hand back in surprise when Sanji flinched and looked away...blushing?

"I'm...sorry..."

He whispered it so softly that Zoro didn't even hear it. He tilted his head in confusion.

"Eh?"

"I'm sorry..."

Again, still too quiet for him to hear.

"Eh? What did you say cook?"

"I SAID I'M SORRY! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE SEAWEED GROWING IN YOUR EARS TOO; YOU WOULD HAVE HEARD ME THE FIRST TWO TIMES!"

Instead of snotting back however, Zoro merely just cocked his head to the side and smirked, earning a jingle from his earrings. "Third time's a charm, I suppose."

Sanji narrowed his eyes. "You're full of shit, Marimo."

"At least I'm not turning as red as a tomato."

At this, Sanji felt his face heat up so extreme that he was surprised he didn't catch fire like he normally did when his emotions went off the charts. Zoro smirked even wider at this.

"Eh? No comeback, cook?"

Instead of a retort, Sanji let himself cool down. Carefully reached in his pocket and lit up a brand new one. After a huff or two he replied softly.

"Is that how you treat someone who's gonna make you a freakin' birthday dinner?"

The expression on Zoro's face became one of pure shock. It was now Sanji's turn to smirk as with how priceless the marimo looked now, it was almost worth doing something in honor of the day the world's biggest idiot came to be.

well, it was for about a good three seconds. Then Zoro's expression changed again. "What kind of shit are you trying to pull, cook?"

Sanji paused a bit before answering. "Let's just say that instead of it being a gift; I'm making you a meal as an apology for getting in your business, hm?"

He could tell from Zoro's expression that he was thinking hard on this. Finally, with a cross of the arms and a nod he responded evenly. "I can accept that, but there's gotta be booze."

Sanji cracked a smile. "Believe me Marimo, I know what you like."

It felt as if everything came to a screeching halt when Zoro's face went beet red and he turned to the cook in shock. Sanji laughed at this. Had the idiot's mind really entered the gutter from that? A wicked thought crossed his mind and he went along with it. Why the hell not play this game? He enjoyed one-upping the shithead anyways...no matter how it was done. Slowly, he leaned close to the swordsman's ear. "Now who's red as a tomato, hm?"

"Fuck you..." Zoro growled between his teeth.

Sanji's smile became wider at this. "Bad choice of words...Mar-i-mo." He blew on the shell of Zoro's ear, earning a shiver and a small pant from the swordsman. He then pulled back and looked at the shaken-up bushido. "What? Don't want dessert early?"

He had only meant to tease the idiot...obviously things got a bit carried away because before he knew it he was pinned to the ground and Zoro was rutting against him like an animal in heat.

Sanji gasped in response. Okay...this felt good...really, really good. And for being another man, Roronoa Zoro at that, it felt fuckin' damn good. He closed his eyes, threw his head back and moaned as the grinding became more rough from both parties. He opened his eyes again and remembered with horror that they were still on the deck in broad daylight.

Where anyone could see.

Anyone...even Nami-san or Robin-chan...

"Gah! Get off me you idiot...mmm...they...they'll see us."

He heard Zoro growl in response and felt his pace increase. "Don't...care..." He panted in the cook's ear.

Fuck! He had always known the swordsman went mostly by instinct...but this was completely ridiculous. Maybe a better response would be to tell the idiot to stop?

Too bad that wasn't even close to the words that tumbled out of his mouth.

"I don't plan to." He heard the deeper voice above him growl before his mind went blank with pleasure.

***

"nng...don't...stop..."

Zoro smirked and picked up his pace at this. "I don't plan to." He growled back.

No more words just moans, pants, and animalistic noises were heard from the two. Zoro thought he'd die from pleasure. He had taken a gamble lunging at the cook like that. But his instincts told him he'd get what his libido demanded if he had taken that opportunity. God it'd been forever since he'd gotten off. Never had he once viewed the cook as such a desirable creature. Now, seeing the blonde writhing beneath him, eyes screwed shut tightly, mouth parted open slightly...he just might have to re-think his views on the curlicue. He smirk began to dissipate as he felt a familiar coil in his gut and, closing his own eyes tightly, he began to follow the blissful path laid out in front of him.

Just a few more thrusts and...

***

If any but one thought made it to Sanji's head; it was the thought of how much Zoro made him think of a wild animal mating. The sounds emitting from the swordsman didn't help either. He began to feel lightheaded with these thoughts and, wrapping one leg around the other man; he tried to bring their erections closer together.

It wasn't enough. He'd have to stop to get further.

"Zoro..." He panted. "I want...I need...clothes...off..."

Zoro pulled back and so fast and before Sanji knew what was going on; he was whisked away into the galley with Zoro carrying him bridle-style. The door slammed shut behind them, Sanji couldn't remember which one of them did it. He was quickly thrown on the table for their actions to resume; but not before once again Zoro showed his animalistic traits by ripping off the cook's clothes...both hands and teeth were used. He went to work on his own and in a matter of seconds, they were both naked.

The cook had no time to take in his surroundings or even admire the muscular body above him due to the feeling of a warm, large hard length was aligned with his own and the actions that took place on the deck were resumed. He threw back his head and cried something incoherent to the ceiling above.

God, this felt SOOO much better. Now the only thing that could make this better was...

His eyes flew open as his thoughts were finished with the action of a large hand taking both of their lengths and a calloused thumb rubbing over the tips. Sanji screamed and that was enough to send Zoro into pure instinct mode...if he wasn't there already. Growling, he threw the cook down and began to grind faster than a human should think possible. Had it been anyone else, he might have snapped them in two. However, Sanji was more than capable of keeping up. A few more thrusts, a high-pitched cry from below followed by a deep grunt from above and they were both finished. Cum splashed and covered both torsos...neither knew what belonged to who, nor did they care. Zoro wrapped his arms around the cook and pulled him close...both still panting from there previous 'spat'. He nestled his face in the cook's hair and murmured softly. "That...was one damn good birthday present, cook."

Despite their earlier activities; Sanji couldn't help but blush at this. "You know, that really wasn't what I was planning on..."

"S good." He heard Zoro murmur in his hair. Judging from the slur in his speech; he figured the idiot was planning on falling asleep. It was a good thing he had such a good internal alarm clock.

He closed his eyes and nestled into the broad chest.

"Happy birthday shit-head..."

Sleep overtook the both after that.

end


End file.
